All over now…

In Uncategorized on June 8, 2013 at 18:03


Well thats that then. One week in the sun (what there was of it) and back on Mr. Ryan-air jetting back to the welcoming grey skies of Blighty.

Not an award winning holiday by any means, best summed up (by a chap I met whilst playing footie with the kids) as no more than ‘a cheeky week’ away.

The main down side of the ‘cheeky week’ being summaries as follows:

1. Going all inclusive (as it assumes to be better value if you have young kids) in a large complex is no better than hanging about in a busy departure lounge or eating in an unkempt motorway service station – chav-tastic.
2. Lots of ignorant self centred loud mouthed shits making a mess and being generally embarrassing sets a poor example of Britishness
3. Lanzarote is too windy for my liking and after a while it pisses you off no end! Especially when you get home burned to a crisp!!
4. Gets cold at night so the sartorial accoutrements require purchase of a sweat shirt to wear with one’s shorts
5. It is expensive these days, therefore any assumption on value is lost – quite literally – to the wind
6. Too many African chaps trying to make ends meet by forcing cheap shite onto you (raising a further case for n element of reflection and on-going debate around where such knock-off products are made, the labour utilised and the true cost of this blatant tax avoidance)
7. Being hassled by shop keepers and restauranteurs to utilise their premises when you don’t want to. I am able make my own informed decisions thank you very much!
8. Tacky gift shops everywhere (see also No.6)
9. Freezing cold swimming pool which was too cold for the kids to enjoy or play in for any length of time
10. Having to fly in and out via Mr. Ryan-air

On the up side:
1. Great to spend a week with the family
2. Learned something about ‘cheeky weeks’!

As a business case it’s a fair cop to be lured into a false sense of holiday wonderfulness. The sales and marketing of such things are well thought through, playing or praying as much on fond memories as anything else.

We all love a week away and the thought of sun & fun with the family unit is a big draw, and the businesses and organisations who link up to create a feeling of value in doing so are to be applauded – for their cunning, publicity profile and enticement strategies. Cheeky!

The fact of the matter is somewhat at odds with perceptions or expectations when one actually arrives at ones destination. Not particularly the destinations fault, or that of some of the wonderful people/staff I have met. It is more the bi-product of years and years of undermining the traditional values of a place and replacing it with a man made (corporate) shadow of its former self.

Should organisations take time to consider their corporate and social responsibilities? I think the time is upon us that they do!

In the never ending hunger for more turnover, more coverage and more profit, organisations have taken away the true essence of a place and created a ‘fucked up mess’ of it all. And, we as consumers have fed this hungry best demanding more time abroad and (perceived) better value we have only ourselves to blame. A fun-da-mental(?) fact. Though I’m reluctant to use the term value, cheap is most probably the word best aligned to the actual facts of the matter.

To get us there Mr. Ryan-air and others have created an economy all of its own whisking us off into a socially constructed haven of tackiness and bullshit that pro-ports to be a real life living example of another culture. My arse it is!

There is no atmosphere to soak up, no traditional culture and nothing that truly represents uniqueness. I could not tell if I was in Spain, Greece or Bognor.

I know this to be true because I don’t believe that traditionally Lanzarote had slush puppies, chicken nuggets and all day English breakfasts (€2.50) served from establishments such as the ‘Bulldog bar’!

Don’t think I’ll be doing this one again for a wee while – not my type of thing, but appears much loved by many others. So, what do I know?

So thats me, coming into land to the all too familiar toot-dede-toot-too ‘of another on time landing’ (90%) delivered courtesy of Mr. Ryan-air.

*The fact I am am a miserable grumpy git is not lost on me – the brats loved it…I think?!

TTFN Globalagogogo…
(Never Give In – Churchill 1941)

Sent from iPad


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